Fambly! Friday marzo 6, 2009
I basically didn't get through ANYTHING that I wanted to talk about in my email today...I had to end it with the weird story about when that teacher yelled at me in front of all the missionaries. The point of that--if you couldn't understand the last few hurried sentences of my email, is that I very sincerrely want to help people WANT to change. I'm not there to tackle them kicking and screaming into the font. Nobody is going to want to change if the person who asks them does it wrong.
I've got a lot to learn, but I've got at least one comparative story to work with. At Kimber, the method of getting me to follow the dress code was "Your shirt is making it hard for the boys to think about Jesus." Gee--why didn't that line work on me? And here, Hermana Saylor managed to convince me to follow the dress code by simply showimg me that it was part of what I'd signed up for (and not forever) and that she knew we could all look pretty and feel professional even if our options are a bit pathetic.
But there is a time for Boldness-I'm a big fan of BOLDNESS. I read through the story of Abinadi this week. I love Abinadi. I used to wonder why the first few chapters seem SO focused on the corruption of King Noah and his priests.... So--is it really bad out there? last days? That kind of stuff? I pray for you every night, I hope all is going well and as normal and wonderful as it sounds.....
This week has been pretty emotional, I think it's just because it's my last week here which means we're seeing less and less of our teachers (the significant font of motivation at the MTC) and we're facing more and more teaching appointments.
One of our progressive investigators Alassandro, speaks English, Spanish and Italian. He is from Italy, so when we gave him a Book of Mormon, I signed it Gilioblanco (which I've no idea if I spelled it correctly, I supposed I could have tackled the nearest Italian missionaries). Anyway, he's VERY real-his cell phone went off while we were teaching him and he answered it and chatted for a few minutes in Italian with one of his friends. After our lesson, Hermana Thomas was like "that was rude" and Hermana Gurney said, "Well, he told the person on the phone to hurry; remember, he just picked it up and said "pronto" (hurry in Espanish). I didn't want to crush her little happy feelings, but I think I remembered Dad saying once that "Pronto" is just how you answer the phone in Italy. She was a bit disappointed when I told her.
Speaking of Italy, I have a dream to share. It's pretty cool--I hope you like this, Daddy. I had a Dante's Inferno dream--but instead of going through all the circles and up through the whole Divine Comedy, I travelled through the three Kingdoms of Glory (actually, I woke up before we got to the celestial Kingdom, probably because my subconscious realized that I shouldn't be able to comprehend it.) The Telestial Kindgom was glorious--but Dim, the people there were changed-like Demons with demonic appendages (wings/horns etc) they loved it there, and they fought with eachother constantly. Those who came to try to teach were attacked. When they spoke to each other, there was no sense in their words. It was all giving me a headache-I had to leave. We went through a tunnel up to the Terestrial Kingdom. Here it was calmer- the people were more humanoid, but still not quite correct. They weren't fighting with eachother, but waited patiently for the other to share his opinion. But I still couldn't understand them, their views were warped--unfamiliar. I know we were still in the wrong place and I wanted to keep going, but I couldn't because I woke up.
So, all of this was still on my mind, along with Dante. I really felt this strong desire to READ Dante all week. Last night, we had our final meeting with our other Spain-nativa progressive investigator, appropriately named Beatrice. It was very hard. Beatrice has always made teaching seem SO real. She's a very good actress, and she'd never broken character. She explained (in Spanish) that she had done like we asked and prayed to know if the Book of Mormon was the word of God (again/for the third time) and that she'd felt a change in her heart, she'd felt the spirit just like we said she would, but she still couldn't join the church because she just wasn't sure, and she couldn't turn her back on her family and her heritage. We let her talk for a long time and I just didn't have any idea what to say to her. I finally figured out, right then, that I'm going to spend the next 16 months walking around with a smile on my face and a broken heart. I'm going to meet real people, just like her, who know the gospel is true but can't or won't accept it. I knew all this before-but it's really powerful when you feel it. I can't even describe it. The closest I can get to it is to say: "This is going to be really, really hard and I'll be lucky if I make it through this without being emotionally ruined for all of Eternity, because I just can't save everyone."
I was speechless. In any language, I had no idea what to say to her to make her understand. I just told her that I knew this was God's will for her and that he'll help her and her family through this difficult time. Luckily, Hermana Gurney (who is basically fluent) managed to save us, while I just sat there and tried not to burst into tears. I didn't cry-but with Hermana Gurney's, Beatrice got really close.
Finally, after our lesson was over, Beatrice broke character, for the first time ever, we really got to talk to her. She served in Barcelona Spain, and she's been back for about 1 1/2 years. Her younger brother is serving in her same mission, with her same mission president and she got most of her questions and doubts from her brother's letters when he was talking about real investigators he's teaching in Spain. It was really neat to finally meet her for real. She wasn't even a real investigator-but like with everyone else I teach, I feel so responsible for them! I just love them so much.
Later that same night-we got kicked out of one of our usual studying spots because they needed to have a meeting. We were down in the basement and we went into a room we'd never noticed before--it's just this little door sort of shoved in there-looks like a janitor's closet. It's NOT. It's George Taylor's secret Library! I know that I shoud know who George Taylor is (there's a building named after him here) but I don't-I just know that I LOVE him! (Edsitor's note: We have since learned that this is John Taylor's (Natalie's Husband) uncle.) He had so many great books--including the book I'd been thinking about all week since I'd had that dream--The Divine Comedy!
So, for our study, Hermana Gurney read from the discourses of Joseph Smith outloud while I copied a few of my favorite literary passages in my journal. We all discussed the Prophet's discourses and lost track of time completely and ended up staying way past our study time.
So, I think I need to learn Italian. Awesome-I think I know someone who can help a little with that. Daddy, thank you so much for all your letters this week! I especially loved your musings on the End of Days, and also when you wrote about testimony. I'm not sure you realize--you included what is pretty much a perfect Door Contact in your one letter--at least that's how the teachers have been telling me to do it. Clearly, you knew what you were doing as a missionary if you can still remember the key opening points. My Door Contact is terrible, it's basically like this, but in very-bad-spanish "Hi, I'm a missionary and I have a message for you about Jesucristo. Can I come in?"
Yeah, My teachers just noticed that it was still really bad; it's not just the words though--I somehow manage to really make people uneasy when I first meet them. Hermano Prestwich says I should smile more. It's hard to smile and think about speaking Spanish at the same time. Anyway-I'm going to take your advice because I think you basically just explained to me perfectly what my teachers have been trying to help me understand.
Oh! And of course, the brownies were AMAZING, thank you so, so much. I crave real food. I may get very large in Houston, but here--I'm starving. Also, this paper is so, so cute! Thank you mommy, and the picture of Tommy made me laugh so much. I'm glad Laney liked getting her own letter, I hope you didn't cry too much! But I cried when I wrote it, so if you did, that's just fair.
All right, this is starting to turn into a five-stamp monster--I've got to stop, but I just want to say Jensen, I LOVE you! Don't stress about class, you're a genius, remember--also, thanks for writing me again and how was Watchmen?!
Also, enclosed is a "33" napkin like I described! I earned it by chatting with some Elder actually. I think he was a teacher, who speaks like six languages fluently. They read WAY too much into it, but it's signed by three witnesses and everything, so I guess I deserve it!
I love and miss you all!!!! Hermana Lillywhite
P.S. Elder Master and Elder Wadsworth seem to have made it. Tonight during our final testimony meeting/thing, Elder Wadsworth expressed his appreciation for Elder Master and Elder Master in his usual form said nothing about Elder Wadsworth. Anyway, Elder Wagsworth said two really fantastic things that will be in books later. My books. 1. "Elder Master gets an average of 42 pages of Anti-Mormon crap from his dad a week. If I was having to deal with that-instead of getting an average of four pounds of fudge a week from home, I might not make it."
2. "You're so strong Elder Master. You're like.. A Cockroach! You just WON'T DIE. You're a beautiful, muscular Cockroach."
What am I going to do when I get to Texas and there's no Elder Wagsworth around to make me smile?!
PPS I'm going to send you the photocard on my next PDay (whenever that is) there's some cute pics of Me and Hermana Porter/ I printed one out, and I wanted to send it to you, but I like it so much I think I'll keep it--but it's on that photocard--along with pictures of my teachers and other people whose faces you should see! I really want you to be able to put faces to these people I'm talking about!